I went to the doctor the other day. She asked me what I did for a living and I told her that I homeschooled. Then she told me that I must have so much patience. She didn't have the patience to do it.
Is she nuts?
My patience died two years ago. I remember the moment. Here I was teaching at a 7th-12th grade high school, ESOL. The principal had told the staff that we didn't have to worry about tardies. He would personally escort tardy students to our classrooms and that would be the end of that. It was 20 minutes after class started and I only had 3 students there. The rest were wandering the halls, taking their sweet time, with no interest in coming to class. I have no idea where the principal was.
I stood there and thought, "Why am I doing this?"
It took me another year and a half to give up. I tried this and that. New training, new tardy policies, new teaching methods, new grade level, new school, new staff. And then I just decided that I don't have the patience anymore. If the kids can't meet me halfway, I just can't cheerlead them into it.
Thirteen years ago, when I first started, I could do it. I had the patience. Eleven years ago, I could still do it. The last two years have squeezed all the patience out of me. The raisin in the sun. That's me.
And now I'm trying to teach my own child. With classes in her school over 35 students, I just felt like I had no choice.
I lose my temper a lot. I do things that I don't approve of, say things, use words that I know are hurtful. I've been that way increasingly as my patience oozed out. All the homeschooling books and magazines and articles that I've read keep saying that the personal attention, nurturing, and loving atmosphere is the key to the success of homeschooling.
Loving atmosphere?
Educational objectives are on the back burner right now. Loving atmosphere, joy of learning, calm environment, mom who doesn't lose her temper, that's the goal. Math if we can squeeze it in.
Okay, I can't give up the math, the Latin, or the writing, but seriously they are on the back burner to a mother who doesn't lose her temper.
OK, so screw the loving atmosphere and the patient mom. You still agreed to having your kid around during school hours - ON PURPOSE - with the idea that you would be your child's educational mentor. Me, I happily dump my offspring on the first teacher I see, 'cuz I *know* I can't handle it!! So take credit where credit is due, dear. :) You're doing GREAT.
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