Lizard Math

Ah, math.

Math started off heinous. Mi'ita argued, moaned, complained, and fought doing her math.

Then I thrusted it upon my husband. He laid down the rules. I was going to make him do all the math, but he doesn't come home until the evening, and none of us are our best in the evenings.

I started giving Mi'ita her math assignments first thing in the morning and telling her that if she were nice to me, I'd help. If she argues, moans, complains, or fights, I leave. If she wants to negotiate, I tell her to call the Daddy. If she is nice to me and cooperates, I'll sit down and help her.

Mostly we've been sitting down and doing math in the morning over breakfast and a cup of tea, or while I unload the dishwasher. Once in a while I've had to walk away halfway through. Usually I make her do the last couple of problems completely on her own, just so that I know that she can do it without help.

Brujito, the lizard of 1000 names, needs his breakfast in the morning, too. I chop up his lizard salad and give Mi'ita her lizard and the salad to hand feed. Then we do lizard math.

I write. The lizard dictates.

"How many 7's go into 36?" I ask. The lizard answers, "One paw."

"How much is 7 times 5?" I ask. "Three tails and one paw," he answers.

"What is 36 minus 35?" I ask. "One tail," he answers.

"What do I do next?" I ask. The lizard swishes his tail and tells me to bring down the next number.

"What is the remainder?" I ask. "Wings," he replies. How many wings do lizards have?