Would you go to work every day if you didn't get paid?
Some people would, of course, because they love their job, but I think even those people would modify a few things. They'd quit doing the obnoxious parts, shift their schedule, work fewer hours. And a lot of us wouldn't darken the doorway again.
We tell children that school is their job, but they don't get paid.
Now we get into the muddy water of instrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. If children are paid for learning with money or points or good grades, they stop loving to learn and they work for the money, points, or grades. Lots of studies show that extrinsic motivation is detrimental to learning. Lots of other studies show that it is effective at behavior modification.
Even though I know the limitations of extrinsic motivation, I'm doing it. I give Mi'ita points for doing her schoolwork. The behavior part of it is much more important to me than the work part. I give her double points for doing things with a good attitude. To try to reduce the complaints, I give her an extra point every time she says, "Okay, Mom."
I'm not looking for complete compliance; I want cheerful learning.
Mi'ita gets a dime for each point. She has earned as little as 7 points in a day and as much as 25. At the end of the week we tally it all and I pay up.
She doesn't get to keep it all, though. She pays $1 to the local pet shop for crickets for her lizard. The rest is divided three ways. A third is cash she gets to blow. A third is put into savings that she gets to spend once she has earned $20. The last third goes into her college fund.
It's money management. It teaches her to save up for something that she wants. It teaches her that pets are expensive and that she needs to think before she adopts. There's some real life math involved. It helps me focus on one behavior that I want to change at a time.
It works.
That sounds like a terrific lesson! We do an allowance thing here, although I don't tie it to their chores on the philosophy that we're all a part of the household and we all need to do our part to make things run smoothly. They are required to divide their allowance into thirds: one part for college, one for church and one to save or spend as they choose. I have been known to request payment for backtalk, in the form of a quarter each time, but I didn't think about financial incentives for attitude. Might just be time to explore that! And by the way, this is Jennifer; I don't know why it's saying "Roger."
ReplyDeleteYou were using your DEEP voice. :-)
ReplyDeleteYeah, if you do attitude, pick one thing you want to improve and work on it for 6 weeks. Also, try to frame it in the positive. Instead of 'quit leaving dishes all over the house,' you'd say 'put your dishes in the sink.'
Good luck. Wish me luck, too! She still isn't saying 'okay, mom.' She tells me that I'm being idiotic. I keep hoping, though.