Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Generations

The women in my grandmother's generation had their children during the Depression and WWII. They all expected to get married, stay at home, and have babies. Most of my own grandmothers were farmwives and expected to grow their own vegetables, can their own vegetables, bake their own bread, cook three hot meals a day, clean, sew their own clothes, and do the laundry with a wringer and a clothesline. It was a very big job back then. Motherhood was full time work, and watching the kids was only a small part of what you did.

My mother's generation grew up in the 50's. Domestic chores were definitely easier, but there was still the expectation that women would get married, have babies, and stay at home. If you wanted or needed a job, women could be secretaries, waitresses, flight attendants, teachers, or nurses. Pick one.

My mother and stepmother were both in their early 30's by the time the women's movement hit. They had already gotten married, had their babies, and were teachers. While the women's movement certainly changed the way they thought and the opportunities they had, they were already mid-stream in the rivers of their lives.

They taught their daughters, though. My generation grew up in the midst of the women's movement and I was taught, explicitly and vociferously, that women could be anything they set their minds to. We may have only had male doctors and female nurses growing up, but we were told that we could be doctors or lawyers or the president of the United States! So go do it!

That's the kicker, though. I did the career thing for 13 years, but I'm a stay at home mom right now, by choice. I was raised by two women's-movement-generation mothers who told me to do anything that I wanted to do! I certainly wasn't planning on being a stay at home mother. If I had said that I wanted to be a stay at home mom when I was young, I would have been sat down for a good long lecture.

My question is, if it is perfectly accepted by my mother's generation for me to be a paid teacher in a school, is it not acceptable to be an unpaid teacher in a house? Is getting a paycheck for tutoring a child more acceptable than not getting a paycheck for tutoring my own daughter? Is it the money?

Because I don't need the money. My husband makes plenty for all of us, even if we don't have the funds for yearly trips to Europe. When I was a teacher, I didn't even know what my salary was. It was a non-issue. If my husband, God help me, disappears tomorrow, I could go back to work and support my small family. My education is still there, my credentials and references.

If it's not the salary, what is it?

1 comment:

  1. It *is* perfectly acceptable. Our moms and grandmothers fought so we could have the choices we have today. We have them! None of us should ever make another woman, or ourselves, feel guilty about taking them. Being forced to join the work-for-pay world, IMO, isn't any better than being forced to stay home. As they say, you go, girl. :)

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